2005-10-02 - 5:36 a.m.
Godddddd damnit!!!! I am not supposed to have sex ever. I've been veering toward my lesbain instincts....but this town is so butch. The only actual girls who are gay are the ones who say so to turn a man on. Which means they are not. When it comes to men they are all talk. They don't know what to do with me. I intimidate them....which is funny since that is my defense mechanism for being scared. Why can't guys have the confidence to step up and make me relax. Pretend they know what the fuck they are doing...i'll tell you why, because they don't. Boys don't learn shit about a woman unless it's in a porn video. I guess it's not their fault. Societies taught them to look there. I will not become vulnerable for someone. I am not going to lay on my back and let you have it. Make me want it. Make me instigat it. Don't give me a beer at your house and figure it's all systems go and then let me crash at your house after I've turned you down and leave me 5 messages and 25 missed calls the next day fuck! And you're 7 years more the wise? Damnit. Ok I'm done now. This was a dumb entry. I will probably delete it.
